BlackWomenWork

Hi, Maya! Let’s jump right in: what do you do?

I am a therapist, plainly. Officially, I’m a Nationally Certified Counselor, and Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) who serves as a staff psychotherapist at a university. I also own my own practice where I do consulting and conduct sessions as a virtual therapist. At the university I also do mental health outreach and intercultural coordination to ensure underrepresented populations are getting the help they need. That’s a major passion point.

Can you describe how you got into mental health?

I was always interested in psychology. I took a course with a Black woman in high school, and I was hooked. I took that interest with me into undergrad at UNC, and in my junior year I was still heavily interested in psych, but I didn’t like the research component. I wanted contact with people, which led me to community counseling, and the world of counseling and therapy. I really believe that direct contact is so important, and that’s really what allows you to get people to where they want to be.

What makes mental health an appealing space for you personally?

It’s interesting. When you are growing and developing you start to get familiar with yourself, and accepting of who you are. I’ve always been a listener. I have an interest in people, and it’s a privilege when you get the opportunity to know someone’s “story”. We have all these books walking around, in people, and we only see the cover. Opening them up is so interesting to me.

Also, losing my mother when I was 16 years old was a major transition. It turns your life upside down, in terms of processing, and there’s a physical toll. That was really a catalyst for me to realize that therapy is something people need. So all of those things make this space appealing to me, but this is also who I am, and so it makes what I do all the more purposeful.

Can you share a little more about that -- the importance of finding purpose?

Purpose is the driving force. As a Black woman, we’ve all had that feeling of rolling up to the office thinking, I can’t do this today. Purpose provides that consistency where, regardless of what those other people are saying or doing in the office that day, I’m still going to get in there and do what I need to do for those I serve. Especially in mental health, because the people I’m serving are going to need what I have to offer -- that nourishment, that medicine -- to keep them going. Purpose makes it all worthwhile. There are the inevitable days where you feel misunderstood. There are the unintentional microaggressions and stressors Black women have to deal with in addition to their jobs. Purpose is what overshadows all of that. It’s the internal motivation that keeps me going.

Are there any thoughts that you feel are taking up a lot of your mental space right now? Things that might be driving your priorities?

Lately, I have been fighting for my time. It’s two-fold. There’s the professional side and the personal side. Anyone who is in a helping profession knows that there’s so much energy given to holding those spaces for others. For example, if I feel sick or I feel like I need a “mental health day” my first thought is “These people need me.” For me to not go in, that’s a terrible inconvenience for someone who has been waiting two weeks to explore this fragile thing they’ve had bouncing around in their mind.

But then, on the personal side, it’s like this is my time. Amethyst Counseling was birthed out of this vision of committing to purpose work while having complete freedom of my own world. Freedom that makes prioritization of self non-negotiable, and congruent with my value for my time and the people in my life. There are so many moments where I just think, man, I love what I do. But what I do is not my entire life and I have to be reminded when I get to the end of my day and I am finishing up with my clients, I have to make sure I have something left to give to the people I love and care about. I want to be in complete ownership of my life’s time and modeling that for the people I’m working with, and it’s been a struggle. It’s been a lot of relearning. I’m taking that day by day.

You mentioned Amethyst Counseling. What is it?

Amethyst Counseling is a one-stop shop for the various services of counseling. This includes individual therapy through virtual counseling, supervision for new counseling professionals, and more. I connect with all of my clients through telehealth. I did that for a reason -- just anticipating where the world is going. And I would have friends move somewhere and like clockwork, I would get a call from them asking, “Do you know a therapist here?” It would pain me to say no. In North Carolina, before you can be fully licensed, you have to have 3,000 hours of direct supervision. I want to get into that -- supervising young therapists just getting started. I’m also interested in blogging and podcasting. I have so many thoughts that I’d like to get out of my head and share.

How is it going so far?

I’m feeling my way there. I have mentors but there’s a quote I always have in my head: “Nobody is going to save you.” You can have all the conversations you want with mentors but you have to get up and do the work. I have to be extra graceful in terms of just doing, and not having a method to the madness. My plan right now is to just make sure I’m doing something every single day. I think it’s important to have enough self-compassion to recognize that all your stuff doesn’t have to be together tomorrow. And so I’m figuring it out and trusting the process. There’s a lot I want to do, and I kept thinking “Why don’t I have the freedom to do these things?” I’m realizing if you want that freedom, you have to go all in to make your life what you want it to be.

You brought up having a mentor. How important is mentorship in developing a career?

Mentorship is everything -- being a mentee and being a mentor. Let’s not reinvent the wheel. Other people have done what you want to do, so you just have to ask “How can they help me?” I have a mentor, Dr. Kamala Uzzell. When I graduated from college, I found her and I was like, this is it, this is what I want to do. So I sent her a message on LinkedIn, and didn’t hear back. After my first year at George Washington in graduate school, I sent her another message. Again, I didn’t hear back. I graduated and got my certification and I’m like, OK, now she has to respond. So I tried again, and I didn’t hear back.

Six months later, I get a message from Dr. Uzzell. She said, “I’ve received a lot of messages, and I’ve just kept seeing this name popping up.” Right when she wrote me, I was relocating to Georgia to go home because I hadn’t found a job. It was scary -- I had never not had a next step. And the way the universe lines up… Dr. Uzzell offered me my first counseling job at a psychology resource center based in Durham. So I was in Georgia for two weeks before I turned around and moved up to North Carolina.

When I moved to Durham, Dr. Uzzell just opened up so many opportunities for guidance and support. And it’s not as though we talk all the time. We don’t even talk every few months. But she’s knows me and she knew me as a baby counselor. I was assigned to a location out in Goldsboro, and it was a smaller office and I was mostly on my own there. But she was outside the door when I had my first counseling session with a client.

I feel fortunate that I’ve worked under Black women. And it’s nice to know that I can go to someone when I have a problem I can’t solve. I mentor young women who work under me, but also you don’t have to know someone personally to provide mentorship. As Black women, especially, we have to step out and make these connections whether or not we have existing relationships with the people we’re reaching out to. Ask yourself “Where do I want to be?” And if you see someone doing that thing, go get them.

I’ve noticed that with Amethyst, a whole new set of mentorship is moving toward me. I’m finding people who are business owners, entrepreneurs. Two days ago, I reached out to someone who follows Amethyst on Instagram, and they wanted to connect to learn more about what I do.

Do you have any advice for Black women seeking to be in this space?

Yes -- two things. At the university where I work, we had a safety and security meeting at the end of last year, which was my fifth year. A young lady came up to me and said, “I remember you were my counselor when I was in middle school.” She told me that I’d helped her so much. I thought about how inadequate I felt when I was her counselor. Speaking to this young woman was a reminder that wherever you are is where you’re supposed to be, and trusting the process is critical.

Also, as women and especially as Black women, we give so much of ourselves to people. So prioritizing yourself is that much more difficult. Figure out your commitment to yourself before helping others. It is so easy to get consumed with the lives of others and what you’re doing for them that you fall down the rungs in your own life. Remember: I’m at the top of my list at all times.

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